Carnival Edition February 2010: Self-Love

Welcome to the February 2010 edition of recovery from childhood sexual abuse. This month's theme is "Self-Love". I hope you find some great information and some good ideas in the following blog-posts. To read the full article in their orignial please click on the highlighted link. Thanks everyone for their contribution.

Resolving Resolutions: How Will You Begin the New Year? posted at Dr. Kathleen Young: Treating Trauma in Chicago. Dr. Young presents a lovely post about a new form of 'resolution' that involves self love.

Forgiveness posted at Multiple Voices, saying Forgiveness is an interesting issue and readers have commented lots on posts touching on forgiveness (see comments here). It seems that to forgive is very difficult.

Edelweiss: My Anthem posted at Mind Parts, saying, "Thank you for the carnival. I've been mildly involved with the "Carnival Against Child Abuse" and hosting next month's, and in the process found yours. For some reason I had always thought they were one and the same. What I just posted recently is exactly along the lines of your theme of "Self Love" this month. Hope you enjoy it. Paul."

When does avoidance become Self Care? posted at Multiple Voices, saying ...avoidance is not something a bunch of avoidant people came up with to legalise avoidance. It’s a human condition to assure survival and the integrity of one’s body and mind. That’s why we don’t walk on hot coals every day – unless we want to demonstrate to our self and others that we are capable of great courage and can overcome our fears.

Female Sex Offenders and their victims- Reference materials and scholarly papers posted at What about when MOM is the abuser?, saying, "A listing of all the research available on this topic which I hope may be of help".

How to have a happy childhood posted at Multiple Voices, saying ...having a happy childhood means that you take time to cater for the child-ego states. Allow the ‘free child’ within to have room to live and be expressed. That can happen most fully when you deal with yourself and your needs and wishes with the stance a caring, nurturing parent would have.


Hugs posted at Shattered into one piece, saying, "This is the self-love that I discovered as a small child and how I attempted to fill the holes that abuse and neglect left."

Becoming your own best friend posted at Multiple Voices, saying ...There comes a time in everyone's recovery - whether you are a multiple or a singleton - where you have to become your own best friend. It always amazes me to see how much head ache is caused by the fact that survivors of sexual abuse go way out of their way to 'be there for others', helping family, friends, neighbours, or colleagues while they run out of time to attend to their own needs.

About Angela Shelton posted at Comments on: About Angela, saying, "I thought I would share this ladies blog with you. Her survivor manual is awesome and is mostly video's of her speaking at different places. There is one speech that she did to a bunch of girls in a detention centre and she talked about how we self abuse and our language to ward ourselves. I find this lady very inspirational and all her tools are awesome and have helped me heaps. She talks about our hurt and pain being a sword peirced through our stomach and she has a warrior workbook that helps you to take out the sword, heal the wound and use your sword to be a warrior and use what has once broken you for good."

Self Love posted at Multiple Voices, saying ... For DID clients COMING TOGETHER depended on establishing a caring and trusting relationship with their different personality parts. After therapists have modeled appreciation for the originally positive intention and helping nature of the different parts of the client’s personality, they had to do that for themselves.

Courage in Patience - Interview with Author Beth Fehlbaum posted at ZenTactics - Child Abuse Recovery, saying, "An interview with Courage in Patience author Beth Fehlbaum. A must-read for anyone who is trying to heal from child abuse."


That concludes this edition. Next month's carnival is covering MEMORIES. Readers have the opportunity to submit articles that cover the importance of memories in their recovery, how to deal with the flooding of memories, and the issues that arise when people experience a lack of memories.

Submit your blog article to the next edition of
recovery from childhood sexual  using our  carnival submission form.
Past posts and future hosts can be found on our  blog carnival index page.
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Carnival Edition January 2010: The Therapeutic Relationship

Welcome to the January 2010 Edition of "Recovery From Sexual Abuse" Blog Carnival. This edition is dedicated to exploring the therapeutic relationship. Even though most therapeutic models and theories subscribe to the notion that the therapeutic relationship is the most important aspect that leads to recovery and positive outcome in therapy/counselling, there is little written about the WHY and the HOW. Inspite of the collective wisdom of the therapeutic community, funding agencies, insurance companies, and governmental mental health providers continue to emphasise and search for the most effective techniques and interventions. Hence the Evidence Based Practice hysteria that has captured the minds of many health funding administrators on a global scale in the desperate attempt to find something that is better measurable than something as elusive as the therapeutic relationship.


This edition proudly presents some of the writings that might answer some questions and shed some light into this delicate issue. To read the full article click on the links to go to the original posts.

The Healing Begins posted at Reunited Selves saying: I had been wandering in the dark for much too long. When the door finally opened enough to let in a little light, what I saw was too ugly to look at. I closed my eyes, turned away, and hid for weeks on end.

Dissociation, DNMS, and the Demon Inside posted at Reunited Selves saying: With the help of my resources, my email connection with C, and a fair amount of ativan, I made it through the rest of the family weekend. I was relieved when it was over, which made me sad. I didn’t want being with my family to be so stressful that I felt as if I was barely making it through.

Obsession: Part One posted at Reunited Selves saying: I began to behave in ways that I knew were not going to be helpful to my recovery. I would send him emails just to get a response. I would feel very excited as I drove to my appointments and very let down as I drove away. I imagined giving him gifts.

Strong Feelings of Connection in Therapy posted at Mulitple Voices saying: "I don't understand how it is that I (and so many others I assume), can feel such a strong connection to a therapist when we only see each other one hour a week. There is nothing I have read that says this is or is not healthy and I find that the connection really bothers me. I don't understand it and I can't seem to accept that it is healthy given the circumstance that I am actually an adult".
My therapeutic relationship may be toxic posted at Psych Central saying: I am 24 years old and I have been seeing the same shrink on and off for ten years. A month ago I admitted to him that I was sexually attracted to him. He admitted that he was sexually attracted to me too, and that he likes me. But he has very clear boundaries and given our history, a sexual relationship wouldn't 'sit well' with him.
Can Therapy Really Change Your Brain? posted at Psych Central. This interesting article explores research that indicates how the therapeutic relationship impacts on the brain and its structure.
Therapeutic Relationship posted at Writing in the Margins of my Mind saying: My now not-so-current therapist was the first person with whom I've really understood the importance of the therapeutic relationship. Psychoanalytic therapy places a lot of emphasis on the transference, the interaction between therapist and client and how this can relate to relationships in the patients life or subconscious.
I want happiness ... wait, no... posted at Meira Shupack saying: The tea-shop customer is reaching out in the midst of his anxiety; this instinct is a major key to his feeling better. We try this initially with our earliest caregivers (reaching for a parent's leg when scared, for example); this urge is a fundamental component of mammal behaviour.
Thank You posted at My body/His Temple saying: I walked into my last therapy session today, totally broken. I was grieving, confused, scared, frustrated, and angry. I just wasn't ready to be on my own. The moment we started talking I broke down. I just retreated back to my own world, and for nearly 10 minutes I just sobbed, sobbed, and sobbed.
Why do you need a therapist anyway? posted at discussing dissociation saying: There have been some interesting discussions and comments from various trauma survivors about how much their therapists have meant to them. These readers have shared some very tender moments with their therapists and have openly talked about the depth of their heart-warming connections and healing moments.
Finding the right therapist posted at Multiple Voices saying: How do you know that you have found the right therapist or counsellor? Wouldn’t it be ideal to have a check-list that you can tick off when you set out to find a therapist? Sadly, it doesn’t work like that. I spent years of researching how services shape the recovery from sexual abuse; and here is what I found out:

Relationship's Role in the Treatment of DID posted at Multiple Voices saying: I listened to a counsellor who talked about ‘using’ the therapeutic relationship in this and the other way. It sounded like the therapeutic relationship was a shovel in the corner of the counsellors room, which ever now and so often was picked up and ‘used’ to hit the client therapeutically.


 
Sexual Abuse In India
Our Little Secret posted at The Viewspaper Even though this submission is not about the therapeutic relationship it is included here as a moving account of the experience of sexual abuse of a young girl in India: The first time it happened, she was rooted in her place, unable to move, shocked into submission. She didn’t protest, by words or gestures. She just stared into the ground, unseeing. He was saying something to her but she couldn’t comprehend his words. She didn’t know what to do. So she just stayed there.


That concludes this edition. The February edition of this carnival will be dedicated to exploring the issue of the importance of SELF LOVE in the recovery from sexual abuse. Submit your blog article to the next edition of recovery from childhood sexual abuse using our
carnival submission form.

Past posts and future hosts can be found on our
blog carnival index page.

Technorati tags:
recovery from childhood sexual abuse, blog carnival.