Blog Carnival "Recovery From Sexual Abuse"

The Blog Carnival "Recovery From Sexual Abuse" comes out in the first week of every month. We usually have a specific theme under which we invite contributions from our readers. These contributions can be your own posts from your blog or posts you have found on the web that you found helpful and/or useful for understanding sexual abuse and the recovery from sexual abuse.

The aim is to increase the awareness about the struggle and the hurt that is caused by sexual abuse. You can submit your post by following this link

Carnival June 2009: Self Harm

Welcome to the June 2009 edition of recovery from childhood sexual abuse. This edition was dedicated to exploring Self-Harm. Some of the contributions are directly about self-harm, others are about coping skills to help people not to harm themselves. As always, a special THANK YOU to all readers for their contributions. I trust you will have an interesting read and I am looking forward reading your feedback if you have any!

Listening to your inner child posted at Rabbit Write, saying: Consciously being gentle with yourself is essential in negating some of that harsh backlash that often happens after self work or achievement. One of the most effective methods I have learned to help foster a sense of empathy and delicacy towards the self is to carry and cradle a beloved stuffed animal. That action of holding something softly in your arms creates a sense of nurturing, caring and compassion that then easily transfers to yourself.

Suicidal Feelings posted at Befrienders Worldwide, saying We are born with the ability to take our own lives. Each year a million people make that choice. Even in societies where suicide is illegal or taboo, people still kill themselves. For many people who feel suicidal, there seems to be no other way out. Death describes their world at that moment and the strength of their suicidal feelings should not be under-estimated - they are real and powerful and immediate. There are no magic cures.

Self-harm (Self-Injury) posted at Befrienders Worldwide, saying People harm themselves in many ways, including cutting or burning, pulling out hair, hitting their bodies against something, drinking heavily or taking excessive amounts of drugs which can lead to an overdose.

There are many reasons why people self harm and the meaning for each person is unique but it is very often a way of dealing with very difficult thoughts and feelings and is often kept secret.

Self-harm and your relationships posted at TheSite.Org, saying Self-harm can be difficult for friends, family and even professionals to accept. TheSite.org looks at how relationships with people in your life might be affected and gives you suggestions for dealing with it.

Sexual Assault Awareness posted at Let's Talk about Race. saying When my intern first suggested I write a post in April about this being Sexual Abuse Awareness Month, I thought, “Yeah, I can do that.” I started the research and found information and statistics. But nothing was clicking in my head to write about. Then I started thinking about my own childhood and victimization.

Trapped Within my Body posted at Survivor's Revolution, saying I have never felt like my body was mine. For the majority of my life it really wasn't. It was just something I put up with while other people did as they pleased. Its no surprise that when things really got out of control, I started cutting myself.

Letters to My Therapist (2007/2008) posted at Secret Shadows, saying, "This is a series of posts consisting of emails sent to my therapist during my recovery from sexual abuse. The posts are listed in chronological order and cover many topics that present themselves during the course of therapy."

Letters to My Therapist (2009) « Secret Shadows posted at Secret Shadows, saying, "This post contains several entries consisting of email correspondences to my therapist during my treatment from sexual abuse. These are NOT posted in chronological order. These are posted in reverse. To read in chronological order, scroll to read the last one first. The posts reflect a variety of topics relevant to recovery from sexual abuse."

Art Therapy posted at Secret Shadows, saying, "Art Therapy has been very helpful to me during my recovery from sexual abuse. Art was my voice when I couldn't find it. This link will take you to all my posts listed under the category "Art Therapy"."

Bloom Where You're Planted posted at Secret Shadows. saying t is not what happens to us that maps out our life. It’s not the cards we’re dealt. Instead, it’s what we do with that that creates our life. It’s how we choose to play those cards that matters most. What happens to us, happens to us. What we choose to do with that, makes us who we are.

25 Ways to Avoid Self-Injury and Prevent Self-Harm « Discussing Dissociation posted at Discussing Dissociation, saying, "Thanks heaps for including my first submission to your April blog carnival -- I appreciate that! I am including an article for the Self-Harm category. This list of helpful ideas was compiled as a combined effort from a group of survivors who struggle with self-harm. I encourage survivors to try as many things from the list as they need to, one after another, until they can reach a place of safety. Thanks again, Kathy Broady (aka Kathy_B_from_AC on twitter)"

25 More Ways to Avoid Self-Injury and Prevent Self-Harm « Discussing Dissociation posted at Discussing Dissociation, saying, "Hi, it's Kathy Broady again. This is the second article also related to self-harm. It is actually a continuation of the first article I just submitted to you. I don't know if you will / can accept two articles, but they were both created from the same group of survivors who struggled with self-harm. There are no repeats of ideas. Each list of 25 is unique to the other. Thanks for your consideration of these articles, Kathy (aka Kathy_B_from_AC on twitter)"

100+ Ways to Spring Clean Your Mind and Body posted at Surgical Technician Schools. saying meditation is a mental discipline in which the individual uses simple mental exercises to enter a deeper state of relaxation or awareness. Anyone looking to cleanse their mind would do well to follow one or more of the meditation practices listed below.

That concludes this edition. The next edition is dedicated to exploring SEXUAL ABUSE AND THE BODY. Submit your blog article to the next edition of recovery from childhood sexual abuse using our carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

Carnival April 2009: Coping with Crisis

Welcome to the April 2009 edition of recovery from childhood sexual abuse. This edition was dedicated to exploring how survivors of sexual abuse cope with crisis. After I did a google blog search and a technorati search myself, I was surprised how little 'hands on' information is available about crisis management. As always, a special THANK YOU to all readers for their contributions. I trust you will have an interesting read and I am looking forward reading your feedback if you have any!

Survivors Going To The Hospital posted at Multiple Voices. saying 'I have been asked by a few readers to comment on how to increase safety for these moments when you have to go to hospital. I will share some of my thoughts and experiences in a moment. However, I believe that there are so many capable survivors out there. I would love to hear from you all what you do to make a hospital visit safe for you and your system.'

Crisis in DID Treatment posted at Multiple Voices. saying 'Loneliness and the sense of isolation is a pervasive theme DID clients struggle with during all stages of recovery. When reaching out for therapy it refers to feeling alone, being scared of people, and being surrounded by a lack of understanding. Other people may even be perceived as toxic and dangerous.'

Kellevision: The Body Remembers posted at Kellevision, saying, "The body remembers abuse it experienced even when the mind suppresses it."

Raising A Highly Sensitive Child posted at Concerning Kids, although this post is not exactly about the impact of sexual abuse, it's included here because these handy parenting tips my be very useful for survivors of abuse as well. "Shy, sensitive children are usually very afraid of taking risks and trying out new things. Give them encouragement and slowly nudge them into making choices for themselves, always assuring them of your support. Similarly, if you need to punish them, a highly public yelling is only making matters worse with them. Try quieter, gentler ways of pointing out their mistakes".

50 Treatment Issues for Dissociative Identity Disorder « Discussing Dissociation posted at Discussing Dissociation, saying, "Thank you for including my blog article that relates to the recovery issues for those that were severely abused in childhood." The reader might find the list of 'Issues' a bit overwhelming, but be assured, often working on one issue might cover another issue at the same time.

Rape and Sexual Abuse Survivors - Dancing In The Darkness posted at Dancing in the darkness. saying Many survivors of sexual abuse have flashbacks. These flashbacks are a reliving of the original abuse. This can happen visually in images one remembers of the abuse, or they can happen without any visual image. The abuse can be re-experienced with sounds, smells, feelings, or other such bodily memories.

What to do if you are raped | Pandora's Project posted at Pandora's Project. saying saying "Get to a safe place. The first and most important thing for you to do is to get away from the perpetrator and to a safe place. Whether this is to your home, a friend's home, a police station or a hospital, make sure you are not in any danger anymore. This can be very difficult if you are living with your perpetrator, such as a spouse or a relative (in which case, you might want to tell someone you trust and develop a safety plan before you leave the situation)." check out the other tips as well!

15 tips for victims on how to deal with sexual assault, abuse and harassment in the West posted at SoundVision.com. saying 'Victims of sexual assault, abuse and harassment often prefer to keep their victimization hidden, fearing blame. But if you are a victim, this is a danger to yourself and to others too, who may become the next victims of the sexual harasser and/or abuser. Here are some things you can do to break the wall of silence and start the healing:' read on ..

I'm a sexual abuse survivor: how do I get okay being intimate again? | Scarleteen posted at Scarleteen. saying 'I'm 15 years old and was sexually abused for two years in the past. How do I get over my intimacy issues? The last boyfriend I had, anytime we were physically intimate, my chest would get really tight, I'd often start to shake, and I'd go into this blank zone where I'd just stare at the ceiling and my body would be completely unresponsive. It was really scary. '

Crisis Intervention posted at Woman Abuse Prevention. saing 'a person in crisis, at that particular time, is unable to rely on her familiar coping mechanisms and is faced with an acute sense of disequilibrium and disorientation. Experiencing strong and conflicting emotions, tensions and anxiety, she may enter a stage where her thinking becomes illogical, confused and fragmented. '

Coping Strategies posted at Members Tripod. saying 'Many survivors find it difficult to cope during flashbacks, or times of great stress. It can help to be able to "ground" yourself (knowing where you are, who you are, when it is, and that you're safe right now). Listed below is a compilation of coping strategies from members of the SADM list that many survivors have found useful in helping to ground themselves, feel safer, calm down, and be able to deal with survivor issues, as well as every day events.'

” What To Do When You Are Triggered" by Finding Your Marbles - A Mental Health Survival Guide posted at Finding Your Marbles. saying For me, one of the toughest things about recovering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and anxiety has been learning how to manage triggers. If you’ve got PTSD or you have panic attacks, you know what I mean by triggers; those little things that, once your “anxiety brain” gets hold of them, send you into a downward spiral of fear, panic, and sometimes, even depression.'

That concludes this edition. Has this inspired you to write about the topic of CRISIS management? I hope so. The next edition of the blog carnival is due in the first week on June. The topic for that edition will be 'SELF HARM'. I know, its a really difficult topic for survivors. However, I hope you'll be able to share you blog posts or those you have found useful with the readers of this carnival. Please, submit your blog article to the next edition of recovery from childhood sexual abuse using our carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

Technorati tags: recovery from childhood sexual abuse, blog carnival.

Carnival March 2009: Issues for Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse

Welcome to the March 31, 2009 edition of recovery from childhood sexual abuse.This edition was dedicated to exploring issues of male survivors of sexual abuse have to deal with. It was intriguing for me to notice the gender divide when it comes to surviving sexual abuse. Blogs that were submitted here seem to deal either with issues concerning women or concerning men.

Having read all the submitted blog posts I am sure that both men and women will find the articles interesting - and at times disturbing. There is a lot to do in the fight to stop child sexual abuse. As always, a special THANK YOU to all readers for their contributions. I trust you will have an interesting read and I am looking forward reading your feedback if you have any!

PARASITES OF THE MIND: Healing PTSD: Ten Reasons Not to Talk About It; And the One Reason You Really, Really Should posted at PARASITES OF THE MIND, saying, "In order to heal we must speak." Read why it is important for your recovery from sexual abuse to speak.

How To Handle A School Yard Bully posted at Concerning Kids. This article describes simple techniques of how to deal with bullying.

Male Victims of Sexual Abuse posted at Child Abuse Blog. addressing statistics about sexual abuse of males and why men struggle with disclosing their sexual abuse.

Medical Advisor Journals----Sexual Dysfunction Articles Written By Friends and Health Experts posted at Article 10302-Sexual Dysfunction. exploring whether keeping your sexual abuse a secret is getting in the way of healing from sexual abuse.

Breathe posted at Toy Soldiers. Read this post about pushing feelings down and keeping oneself distant from others.

What about when MOM is the abuser?: Mother-Son sexual abuse posted at What about when MOM is the abuser?. This post explores the complex issues and problems that come when mothers sexually abuse their sons.

The Leadership Council - 8 Myths About Child Sexual Abuse posted at The Leadership Council. This post is not specifically geared towards issues that concern male survivors of sexual abuse, however, it is here included because it addresses comprehensively the most common myth that sexual abuse survivors (males and females) have to deal with.

MenWeb - Dating Violence: Men's Reactions to Female Sexual Coercion posted at MenWeb. saying One of the long-standing myths about sexual abuse is that men or boys are rarely victims of sexual abuse, especially with women as the sexual aggressors—that a woman cannot make a man have sex with her against his will. This timely article by the Doctors Struckman-Johnson helps to disabuse us of this myth. Prevailing stereotypes about boys and men are that they must "want it." Stereotypes about women's physical weakness, disinterest in sex, sex-role passiveness and gentle nature lead many people to assume that women are not capable of such an act,

Holly's Fight for Justice: Ontario-wide strategy needed for male sex abuse victims, inquiry told posted at Holly's Fight for Justice. saying Male victims of childhood sexual abuse need specialized support services and a provincial ombudsman dedicated to their plight, the Cornwall inquiry heard Friday as the $40-million probe drew to a close after three years of testimony.

Is True Masculinity Possible For Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse? posted at Julie Posey Blog. saying Gary had always felt like he was overly emotional. His wife Judith was the only person with whom he shared his fears and vulnerabilities. In fact, she was the only one who knew about his history of sexual abuse. He didn’t dare show sadness or grief among his male friends for fear of endless mocking. All of his life Gary felt that he had to adhere to the belief that “boys don’t cry”. Being a man meant keeping a “stiff upper lip” under any circumstances.

Myths of Male Rape posted at Kaili Boyd. saying Having myself been a survivor I also thought of rape as something that couldn’t happen to men outside of a prison setting. It was also surprising to me to talk to an advocate who spoke of adult males being raped by women, because as he put it - and I quoted him in the story “our physiology betrays us”. Wow…I mean women feel guilty enough because wheather you are responsive to it or not, you are almost powerless to stop it.

Victory Over Sexual Abuse: Male survivors posted at Victory Over Sexual Abuse. saying At the risk of being socially and politically incorrect, I want to say a few things about male survivors. I feel as if society treats sexual abuse differently, depending on the victim's gender. Take the recent stories you've heard on the news of female teachers having relationships with male students. That is abuse, but many times society is sending the wrong message to those young boys.

BOOKS ON MEN'S ISSUES . . . . . posted at Men's Groups - Care, Feeding (and Starting), saying, "This blog provides an extensive list of books that deal with issues male survivors of sexual abuse are facing."

Just Like A Man: Male rape - a hidden crime posted at Like A Man. saying "The impact of rape on blokes shares many similarities with that of female victims but there are some significant differences: though women feel incredible shame and humiliation, this is often amplified in male victims because of the gender expectation that they should have been able to defend themselves,

MST survivors need rights! posted at a males life after rape. saying There was once a time when I thought I had been the only one. Never had it crossed my mind there was anyone else that had experienced the same kind of fears brought on by being a sexual assault survivor.

Get Real! Healing and Dealing with Triggers as a Male Survivor | RHRealityCheck.org posted at Reproductive Health | RHRealityCheck.org. saying I'm a 18 year-old male. I was raped twice in my life (6 and 10 years old) and I took it pretty well. My life was quite normal until now, and had no problems with girls. I never had a girlfriend, never been the type who commit, but I'd had a lot of sex with a lot of girls. Two weeks ago I had contact with the man who attacked me when I was 10. Since then I've having nightmares and have been remembering all what happened.

Ciara Leeming: boys don't cry posted at Ciara Leeming. saying Male rape is rarely discussed in our culture, apart from the odd gag about dropping the soap in the prison showers. Yet studies suggest one in seven UK rape victims could be male, while one in four men may have sufffered childhood sexual abuse.

Close to Home: A Friends Story of Abuse and Survival posted at Lost in a Sense. saying This is between you and me but I was also abused as a kid and not that many people know because of the fact I hate when they feel sorry for you. I don’t need pitty from them, I am as normal as the next guy but had a really tough experience. You know what I am talking about. I guess it just really hit home because I have had the same feeling when people say “oh he’s gay” and I am always getting angry. I also have alot of gay friends and they don’t know what has happened to me, but they always ask why I get so defensive.

Female Sexual Abuse posted at Seven Castles. saying For a variety of societal reasons, female sexual abuse is likely to remain unnoticed. Some researchers have found that the incidence of sexual contact with boys by women is much more prevalent than is contended in the clinical literature. Despite society's increasing concern about sexual assault, there may be several reasons for the under-reporting of female sexual abuse of both child and adult victims.

Male Survivors on Their Sexual Life as Children posted at Mental Wellbeing. saying Secret sexual activity of men often begins with childhood sexual victimization according to mental health professionals interviewed by Think & Ask news. Adult men often seek help only after events in their lives cause them to fall from grace, into addiction, or to stop from acting out in behavior they cannot control. In their struggle to cope however there is hope, healing, and happiness say male survivors.

Men can be victims too! posted at Start Life Today. saying Men can also be victims of sexual abuse. A gay victim may be raped by their partner, suffering all the agonies any other rape victim would. Many men in abusive relationships do not feel in control of their own sex life, their partners may demand or coerce intercourse, may make derisory comments about their manhood or ridicule them in public.

Male Survivors Weekend posted at Survivors Swindon, saying, "This is the announcement of a weekend retreat for male survivors in the UK. Although we usually do not advertise for people, it seems to be a great initiative to help men in their recovery."

Keith Smith posted at Violence UnSilenced. saying The following survivor story was written by Keith Smith, who is breaking his 34-year silence with his book, Men in My Town, scheduled for release late-March on Amazon.com. - I was abducted, beaten and raped by a stranger. It wasn’t a neighbor, a coach, a relative, a family friend or teacher. It was a recidivist pedophile predator who spent time in prison for previous sex crimes; an animal hunting for victims in the quiet, bucolic, suburban neighborhoods of Lincoln, Rhode Island.

MY STORY posted at My Journey as a Male Survivor of Childhood Sexual Assault. saying When a young man is raped, it will usually go un-reported, why because he may feel guilty, shame, as well as thinking that it is his own fault, and also he may feel less than a man, so he keeps it a secret and may not tell anyone.

That concludes this edition. The next edition, due the first week in May will be under the heading: DEALING WITH CRISIS! I am looking forward to a wide range of interesting submissions. Submit your blog article to the next edition of recovery from childhood sexual abuse using our carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

Carnival February 2009: Shame

Welcome to the February 27, 2009 edition of recovery from childhood sexual abuse.This edition was dedicated to exploring issues of sexual abuse and shame. The link between shame and the silence around sexual abuse was often made, as were their terrible consequences. I would like to thank all readers for their contributions. I trust you will have an interesting read and I am looking forward reading your feedback if you have any!

Coming Home posted at Everyone Needs Therapy, saying, "It's about rape, really." TherapyDoc writes a challenging blogpost about sexual boundary violations. Don't miss reading it!

HOW IT WORKS posted at Knitman. saying "The world we live in, the pain and suffering all around us is there because WE ALLOW IT. If we don't allow it, we cause it. WE PUT OUR IDEAS ABOVE THE HEALTH AND SAFETY OR OURSELVES AND OUR YOUNG.We pass on our fear and shame and guilt to our young. Above all we pass on the inability to see the pain and suffering and it's cause".

Why Society Still Can't Face Childhood Sexual Abuse posted at The Melindaville Blog. saying "One hallmark of the sexual abuse of a child is the denial and secrecy that surrounds the issue—and this denial extends well beyond the family. There are always signs that sexual abuse is occurring if people aren’t in denial—or if they simply open their eyes to see obvious".

I Hate Myself and Everything Day!!! posted at Clinically Clueless. saying "I feel like my mental illness has taken away my ability to work, have friends, finances, a clean house, an organized house, my energy, my body, my ability to sleep, intimacy with my husband, some of my independence, desire to cook and bake, concentration, ability to focus, some of my memory".

Healing Challenges Specific to Mother-Daughter Sexual Abuse « Blooming Lotus posted at Blooming Lotus. saying "All child abuse is bad. All child abuse, even just one time, breaks a child’s trust and causes issues from which the child must heal. That being said, there are healing challenges specific to mother-daughter sexual abuse that are not generally present when healing from other forms of child abuse".

Sexual Abuse Part 1 posted at A Little Bit of Everything. saying "I mentioned in that post that I had been sexually abused. I felt compelled to elaborate on that subject. Mostly I want to because I believe it is a subject that isn't discussed frequently enough, and it's filled with mystery and taboo. Copious amounts of shame surround the issue, and with shame seems to come silence".

The Bitter Burden of Silence posted at Sa. saying "Child Sexual Abuse is one of India’s secret crimes. We don’t speak it’s name, vaguely saying “child abuse” or just indicating by our scandalized, shamed faces, full of fear and secrets, crowding about the name like ants around a morsel of rice, voices rising over the shrill piercing scream that brought the crowds, drowning it out, the air abuzz with talk, words flying, afire with shame, louder and louder, rising in a spiral until, finally, there is silence."

The Gypsy Bride: Sexual Abuse Effects posted at The Gypsy Bride. saying "When a child or youth is molested, she/he learns that adults cannot be trusted for care and protection: well-being is disregarded, and there is a lack of support and protection. These lead to grief, depression, extreme dependency, inability to judge trustworthiness in others, mistrust, anger and hostility. And as if all that isn't enough, children's bodies often respond to the sexual abuse, bringing on shame and guilt."

Unit 3 lesson 3, Consequences of False Beliefs posted at Victory Over Sexual Abuse. saying " If you have an absolutely awful feeling inside yourself that says you somehow caused the abuse, know that you are not alone, but that IT IS NOT TRUE. Frequently, victims will blame themselves for not preventing or stopping the abuse."

Why Men Shame Themselves for Being Sexually Abused posted at Healing the Survivor. saying "Shame is one of the most prevalent emotions you can undergo when dealing with sexual abuse. You may have the thought that you did something to deserve the abuse and therefore cannot have what you truly want as an adult." Read on this interesting post that looks at sexual abuse from the male survivor perspective.

Rape and Sexual Abuse Survivors - Voices of Strength posted at Voices of Strength. saying "A large percent of Rape Survivors in the aftermath feel guilt and or shame. First of all let me say that it was not your fault. We don't ask to be victimized." Read on ...

Tetris and Trauma ; Secret Shadows posted at Secret Shadows. saying "One of the things that I find soothing and calming to the system is to play video games, particularly ones that involve shapes, patterns, puzzles, a moderate pace, a sense of wiping out something, and mild blasting noises." ... read on

Why I wrote ?Beyond the Tears: A True Survivor?s Story? posted at "Beyond the Tears: A True Survivor's Story" Lynn C. Tolson blog. saying "I am often asked why I wrote such a revealing memoir. We are accustomed to keeping our secrets, hiding our flaws, and stuffing our feelings. After all, what will people think of us? The truth is, it took me twenty years to write my story."

Is True Masculinity Possible For Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse? posted at Julie Posey Blog. saying "Gary had always felt like he was overly emotional. His wife Judith was the only person with whom he shared his fears and vulnerabilities. In fact, she was the only one who knew about his history of sexual abuse. He didn’t dare show sadness or grief among his male friends for fear of endless mocking. All of his life Gary felt that he had to adhere to the belief that “boys don’t cry”. Being a man meant keeping a “stiff upper lip” under any circumstances."

Books for Self-Help, Healing and Personal Growth! posted at Mental Health on the Web, saying, you find in this post a list of "books for recovering from trauma"

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of recovery from childhood sexual abuse using our carnival submission form. The Topic of the March Edition deadline 28 March 2009, will be "Issues for Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse".

Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

Carnival Dec08/Jan 09: Husbands, Partners, Lovers

Welcome to the January 20, 2009 edition of recovery from childhood sexual abuse.This edition was dedicated to exploring issues that arise for survivors in their relationships, with husbands, partners, or lovers. I would like to thank all readers who posted so generously. Again the contributions are diverse and interesting. I am looking forward reading your feedback if you have any!

Relationships

My True Self: Boundaries vs. Scaffolding posted at My True Self. Have you ever feared that setting boundaries keeps you from connecting with others? This blog post looks at the purpose of boundaries in relationships and suggests that maybe scaffolding is a better term to use. Check it out!

Co and counter dependency posted at imaginif. Megan Bayliss explains in detail the terms co-dependency and counter dependency and talks about the need to have your adult relationships 'sorted' to be a good role model for your children.

Husbands

Christmas Blessings posted at Here and Now ~*~ 4 Angel~*~. Husbands and partners often have to stand in the side-lines of a survivors recovery, yet in many cases they play an important part of providing a safe container in which recovery can take place. This post acknowledges the important role they have!

It's Complicated.......... posted at My Clouds, My Storms and Multiple Personality Disorder. describing the difficulty of feeling deeply for your husband while other parts feel rather indifferent towards him.

Internet Support: A Letter to My Therapist posted at Secret Shadows. saying "It’s just hard for him to understand why I would want to talk to someone else. But it’s priceless when you can tell someone something and they can respond, “Me, too.”, or they can say, “I understand”, and they really do. You understand?" - Finding a balance between support from your husband, groups, and therapist

#7 Playing with a Full Deck posted at Blast from the Past. Barbara Whittaker describes relating to others as playing with two decks of cards. She shows how the deck of cards from childhood with beliefs and values contaminated by abuse create difficulties in her life now.

Partners

Boundaries posted at recoveryvehicle.us. This post is looking at boundaries from another angel. - " What you can do is listen without trying to fix or solve problems. You can hug and cry together. You can look for your own answers. Or not. … It is extremely difficult to simply let these things “be”. - "

'R'elationship posted at Crackers & Juice Boxes. This blog post shows the struggles and joys of starting a new relationships. How to manage intimate relationships while you are still recovering from sexual abuse - and how to deal with a therapist who thinks its the wrong thing to do!

The Manual posted at Jeff Vineburgh. This post offers really interesting and good information for partners of survivors. It's truly worth reading!

Misc

RELAPSE: OOPS!! posted at While On Life's Journey....., saying, "It is stated that there are approximately 11 phases leading to addiction relapse. MAx Fabry shares these phases and her insight."

The Danger In Criminal Profiling Alleged Rape Victims posted at abyss2hope: A rape survivor's zigzag journey into the open, saying, "Important information for those who are considering reporting their abuse." Marcella Chester clarifies the issues rape victims may encounter when they are giving evidence. PLEASE READ THIS if you consider reporting being abused.

Your role to prevent child molestation! posted at dratiffarid. This blog post not only demonstrates the importance of reporting child sexual abuse but also urges parents to takes preventative measures by talking to their child / children about being safe.

Afterthought

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of recovery from childhood sexual abuse using our carnival submission form. I have changed the order of the topics - the February edition (publishing date 28 February 2009 - send in your contributions by 25 February 2009) will deal with the difficult issue of shame.

Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

Technorati tags: recovery from childhood sexual abuse, blog carnival.

Carnival November 2008: Parenting

Welcome to the November 30, 2008 edition of recovery from childhood sexual abuse. This edition is dedicated to issues of parenting. Some really interesting posts have been submitted - If you have any comments to the submitted contributions, please comment freely to what you read here.

How Often Does Child Sexual Abuse Get Reported posted at Judy Wright. Not nearly as often as it should. Most child abuse victims never report the crime or get help in coming to grips with this life-changing trauma. They move into adulthood with a broken heart and low self esteem. Much misbehavior and acting out can be traced to an incident which occurred which left the child feeling confused, betrayed and angry.

Nursing is Not Good for Me Sometimes too posted at ~Enola~. Four years ago, I was unsure how breastfeeding would go with my daughter. It went great. Very few problems. I often joked I could feed a third-world nation. She had a bit of an issue taking a bottle, but we quickly surpassed that hurdle. I nursed her for twenty-six months. I take great pride in that accomplishment. For once, my body didn't let me down. It did what it was supposed to do. While not easy, I hung in there. Of course, this was all pre-therapy, pre-dealing-with-the-abuse.

Mums Raising Boys - Information for New Zealand Parents posted at Sandi Paterson. When I was pregnant, I secretly wanted a girl. I’d give people the standard line, “Oh, as long as it’s healthy, I don’t mind,” but inside I figured raising a girl on my own would be easier than with a boy. I don’t think that’s necessarily true any more; in fact, most of the young boys I know seem a lot less demanding than my own little madam. But it is true that for many single mothers, the idea of raising a son carries its own set of worries.

Sexual Abuse Survivors: Parenting Model posted at SEXUAL ABUSE HELP. Don't miss this video clip. It shows the basic principle of using non-violent communication with children. The technique used is so simple yet so powerful. It will help you to connect with your child without being patronising, controlling, or demanding. A must view!

Techniques For Building Happy Children posted at Gudrun Frerichs, PhD. Evolution has seen to it that when young organisms are safe, they feel positive emotion, and they will reach outward and broaden their resources by exploring and playing” (Authentic Happiness, page 209). So, an important part of raising children is making them feel safe.

Anger posted at My Clouds, My Storms and Multiple Personality Disorder. I'm only beginning to realize how really angry I am at my daughter. The more I learn about her using her childhood (that would be me, the multiple mother) to justify her victim behavior the angrier I get. Instead of being responsible for her own behavior or even being angry at the sleaze of a father who molested her, she's blaming me for her life as a victim ...

How to listen posted at Imaginif. If you care about your children and if you care about protecting all children from harm, then it is time to listen: to actively listen with both ears and to begin using your mouth as a change agent rather than a constipator. In Australia alone, a child is abused every 13 minutes. In some countries, up to 60% of children are traumatised by the time they are three years old. Our children are at risk of ongoing psychological and physical harm and it is time to listen to them.

So Sexy So Soon. What parents can do to protect their kids posted at imaginif. For children today, learning about sex too soon isn’t the issue. The problem is the synthetic and cynical source of a child’s information. Popular culture and technology inundate our children with an onslaught of mixed messages at earlier ages than ever and without the emotional sophistication to understand what they are doing and seeing, kids are getting into increasing trouble emotionally and socially.

Mother’s Talk To Your Daughters posted at The People Behind My Eyes. Parenting is a huge, huge responsibility that sometimes gets passed onto schools and day care programs. But in day care programs and in school the child does not get the individual attention they need to fully understand themselves. If a parent is there for his or her child they can make sure the child understands. Age appropriate knowledge will help the child grow into an informed adult.

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of recovery from childhood sexual abuse using our carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

Carnival October 2008: What helped - what didn't

Welcome to the October 31, 2008 edition of recovery from childhood sexual abuse. Inspite the fact that the carnival site was frequently off line this month there have been some brilliant submissions for the reader to enjoy!

What I Learned at Timberlawn posted at Secret Shadows. This blog post describes the experiences of attending an intensive therapy program at Timberlawn hospital. The reader learns about the struggle as well as the benefits of the writer's stay.

Self Injury: The Misery, Hurt, and Confusion Behind the Pain posted at Secret Shadows. Self injury is openly discusses in this personal record that exlores self injury as of re-encactment of the abuse but also as a form of emotion regulation.

Lessons learned in a therapuetic relationship gone wrong posted at Emily First Girl: .............DID ..........Multiplicity. Often clients don't know what to expect when starting therapy and what questions to ask. This post benefits from the clear vision of hind sight and gives suggestions of what to asks the therapist before starting therapy.

How to Integrate Animal Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) Alter Parts | eHow.com posted at FaithAllen. It is not unusual for person's diagnosed with DID have alter parts that are animals. This post discusses the purpose of these parts and makes suggestions of how integrtion of these parts could take place.

DID And The Body: Driving A Courtesy Car posted at Multiple Voices. By using the metaphor of 'driving a courtesy car' this blog post discusses the relationship many multiples (sexual abuse survivors diagnosed with DID) have with their body.

Deserved Rape? posted at abyss2hope: A rape survivor's zigzag journey into the open. We have here a thorough exploration of who is responsible for rape. Is there such a thing as deserved rape? Don't miss this read!

artconstellation: UNABLE TO WAIT UNTIL I GET HOME I STOP AT THE LIBRARY SO THAT I MAY PURGE ONTO MY BLOG. posted at artconstellation. How to deal with the memories of sexual abuse that have surfaced after a therapy session? This post may not have answers but describes the struggle and the decision to grow stronger and move on.

Losing Time posted at Here and Now ~*~ 4 Angel~*~. It's often hard for people to understand the experiences of switching in the life of multiples. This blog post give a moving description of 'experiencing losing time'.

On Giving Up and Getting Up posted at Survivors Can Thrive!. This blog post describes the journey from wanting to give up to making the decision to get up continue growing and healing.

Holly Ord presents Hounddog posted at Healing Yourself Heals the World, saying, "Hounddog is a movie that exudes hope and infuses survivors with a resonating voice that says 'I understand, it isn't your fault, now take back what is yours.'"

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of recovery from childhood sexual abuse using our carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

Technorati tags: recovery from childhood sexual abuse, blog carnival.

Carnival September 2008: General

Welcome to the September 30, 2008 edition of recovery from childhood sexual abuse. I am excited about the support this project has received and about the great submissions people have made.

Attachment and the Therapeutic Relationship posted at Secret Shadows, saying, "This article was written by myself as a survivor with DID. Professionally speaking, I also have a Masters Degree in Special Education: Emotional/Behavioral Disorders."

Dreaming in DID©: Using DID to accept your self-worth « Emily First Girl: ………….DID ……….Multiplicity posted at Emily First Girl: .............DID ..........Multiplicity, saying, "After a lifetime of confusing but incredibly vivid and detailed dreams, I learned that the characters in my dreams were all different parts of me. Understanding how these parts of myself (alters) helped and hindered me in dreams gave me incredible insight into how these parts contribute to me in my real life. When I lose contact with my selves, my dreams help me reconnect and understand."

The Force that Drives You to Speak posted at Healing Yourself Heals the World, saying, "Healing Yourself Heals the World is a brand new site that will serve as a personal account of the healing journey from child abuse and childhood sexual assault. There is a force within survivors that pushes them to speak and not only will this site be a personal account of the healing journey, but hopefully it will also serve as a place of encouragement and motivation to other survivors and aid in their own healing journey. Thank you."

It's Complicated.......... posted at My Clouds, My Storms and Multiple Personality DisorderI found this post showed clearly the difficulty Mulitples have with relationships. Here an excerpt: Or maybe I should say that I'm complicated. Being a multiple with my feelings walled off into little compartments can make life a bit confusing for me sometimes. However, I'm guessing it's not nearly as confusing for me as it is for the people who live with me.
Abusers Deny or Minimize the Abuse posted at SANCTUARY FOR THE ABUSEDExerpt: Not all abusers are dysfunctional. Many of them are pillars of society. Abusers come in all shapes and sizes: successful professionals, or peripatetic con-artists, affluent or poor, young or old, well-educated or dropouts. There is no profile of the "typical abuser".
How sex predators groom - posted at Imaginif Child Protection became Serious BusinessExerpt: Grooming is a process of desensitisation that sex predators use on children to prepare and trick them into accommodating sexual abuse. Grooming can take months, or days, and can occur on the internet, over the phone or in...
Multiple Voices: Finding the Right Therapist - posted at Multiple VoicesExcerpt: How do you know that you have found the right therapist or counsellor? Wouldn’t it be ideal to have a check-list that you can tick off when you set out to find a therapist? Sadly, it doesn’t work like this.
Good Fairy Helps Incest Survivors Forget Til It's Safe by Incest Survivor - posted at Wedding Pranks. Excerpt: Finally, from the corners where the silence still remains, there came the urgency to go to a mountaintop and scream out the whole truth.
QuantumShift.tv - Holly's fight for Justice video posted at Holly Fightforjustice DeSimone.Check out Holly's video about her fight for justice. Find out about Holly and her journey from overcoming rape and fighting relentlessly to get her perpetrator behind bars! Not to be missed! Gudrun
Dr. Jerry Mungadze, Mungadze Trauma Programs - posted at Yvie Stewart. Dissociative Identity Disorder: Triumph over Life's Greates Challenge. EFor a young child, life is viewed in simplistic terms. A loving family, a safe environment, food and shelter, playing with friends, and .
Courage in Patience - posted at Courage in Patience by Author Beth Fehlbaum. Excerpt: Ashley Nicole Asher’s life changes forever on the night her mother, Cheryl, meets Charlie Baker. Within a year of her mother’s marriage to Charlie, typical eight-year-old Ashley’s life becomes a nightmare of sexual abuse and
Read about the new book "Beyond Tears" posted at Lynn Tolson. Surviving domestic violence and sexual abuse, Lynn Tolson tells her story in the book, Beyond the Tears, in hopes to help other victims understand they can live a normal, happy, life.
That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of recovery from childhood sexual abuse using our carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.
Technorati tags: recovery from childhood sexual abuse, blog carnival.