Carnival February 2009: Shame

Welcome to the February 27, 2009 edition of recovery from childhood sexual abuse.This edition was dedicated to exploring issues of sexual abuse and shame. The link between shame and the silence around sexual abuse was often made, as were their terrible consequences. I would like to thank all readers for their contributions. I trust you will have an interesting read and I am looking forward reading your feedback if you have any!

Coming Home posted at Everyone Needs Therapy, saying, "It's about rape, really." TherapyDoc writes a challenging blogpost about sexual boundary violations. Don't miss reading it!

HOW IT WORKS posted at Knitman. saying "The world we live in, the pain and suffering all around us is there because WE ALLOW IT. If we don't allow it, we cause it. WE PUT OUR IDEAS ABOVE THE HEALTH AND SAFETY OR OURSELVES AND OUR YOUNG.We pass on our fear and shame and guilt to our young. Above all we pass on the inability to see the pain and suffering and it's cause".

Why Society Still Can't Face Childhood Sexual Abuse posted at The Melindaville Blog. saying "One hallmark of the sexual abuse of a child is the denial and secrecy that surrounds the issue—and this denial extends well beyond the family. There are always signs that sexual abuse is occurring if people aren’t in denial—or if they simply open their eyes to see obvious".

I Hate Myself and Everything Day!!! posted at Clinically Clueless. saying "I feel like my mental illness has taken away my ability to work, have friends, finances, a clean house, an organized house, my energy, my body, my ability to sleep, intimacy with my husband, some of my independence, desire to cook and bake, concentration, ability to focus, some of my memory".

Healing Challenges Specific to Mother-Daughter Sexual Abuse « Blooming Lotus posted at Blooming Lotus. saying "All child abuse is bad. All child abuse, even just one time, breaks a child’s trust and causes issues from which the child must heal. That being said, there are healing challenges specific to mother-daughter sexual abuse that are not generally present when healing from other forms of child abuse".

Sexual Abuse Part 1 posted at A Little Bit of Everything. saying "I mentioned in that post that I had been sexually abused. I felt compelled to elaborate on that subject. Mostly I want to because I believe it is a subject that isn't discussed frequently enough, and it's filled with mystery and taboo. Copious amounts of shame surround the issue, and with shame seems to come silence".

The Bitter Burden of Silence posted at Sa. saying "Child Sexual Abuse is one of India’s secret crimes. We don’t speak it’s name, vaguely saying “child abuse” or just indicating by our scandalized, shamed faces, full of fear and secrets, crowding about the name like ants around a morsel of rice, voices rising over the shrill piercing scream that brought the crowds, drowning it out, the air abuzz with talk, words flying, afire with shame, louder and louder, rising in a spiral until, finally, there is silence."

The Gypsy Bride: Sexual Abuse Effects posted at The Gypsy Bride. saying "When a child or youth is molested, she/he learns that adults cannot be trusted for care and protection: well-being is disregarded, and there is a lack of support and protection. These lead to grief, depression, extreme dependency, inability to judge trustworthiness in others, mistrust, anger and hostility. And as if all that isn't enough, children's bodies often respond to the sexual abuse, bringing on shame and guilt."

Unit 3 lesson 3, Consequences of False Beliefs posted at Victory Over Sexual Abuse. saying " If you have an absolutely awful feeling inside yourself that says you somehow caused the abuse, know that you are not alone, but that IT IS NOT TRUE. Frequently, victims will blame themselves for not preventing or stopping the abuse."

Why Men Shame Themselves for Being Sexually Abused posted at Healing the Survivor. saying "Shame is one of the most prevalent emotions you can undergo when dealing with sexual abuse. You may have the thought that you did something to deserve the abuse and therefore cannot have what you truly want as an adult." Read on this interesting post that looks at sexual abuse from the male survivor perspective.

Rape and Sexual Abuse Survivors - Voices of Strength posted at Voices of Strength. saying "A large percent of Rape Survivors in the aftermath feel guilt and or shame. First of all let me say that it was not your fault. We don't ask to be victimized." Read on ...

Tetris and Trauma ; Secret Shadows posted at Secret Shadows. saying "One of the things that I find soothing and calming to the system is to play video games, particularly ones that involve shapes, patterns, puzzles, a moderate pace, a sense of wiping out something, and mild blasting noises." ... read on

Why I wrote ?Beyond the Tears: A True Survivor?s Story? posted at "Beyond the Tears: A True Survivor's Story" Lynn C. Tolson blog. saying "I am often asked why I wrote such a revealing memoir. We are accustomed to keeping our secrets, hiding our flaws, and stuffing our feelings. After all, what will people think of us? The truth is, it took me twenty years to write my story."

Is True Masculinity Possible For Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse? posted at Julie Posey Blog. saying "Gary had always felt like he was overly emotional. His wife Judith was the only person with whom he shared his fears and vulnerabilities. In fact, she was the only one who knew about his history of sexual abuse. He didn’t dare show sadness or grief among his male friends for fear of endless mocking. All of his life Gary felt that he had to adhere to the belief that “boys don’t cry”. Being a man meant keeping a “stiff upper lip” under any circumstances."

Books for Self-Help, Healing and Personal Growth! posted at Mental Health on the Web, saying, you find in this post a list of "books for recovering from trauma"

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of recovery from childhood sexual abuse using our carnival submission form. The Topic of the March Edition deadline 28 March 2009, will be "Issues for Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse".

Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.